Day One

Time to take roll and get all excited to be here!

Just so y'all know: This camp isn't going to be a "sit-back-and-enjoy-what-I've-written" kind of a thing. You are joining in on a big ole chunk of personal growth time and it's going to take effort! For day one we're going to set some goals. What kind of spiritual change do you want to have over the next 4 weeks?

First homework assignment: Choose one of the following talks and read it.

Vision to Do   or   Desire

Now that you've read a bit and hopefully been a bit inspired, make a list of who you want to BECOME. This is not a bucket list or an array of things you'd like to do. This is the kind of list you really can never check things off of because you'll be working on them for your entire life. Like "be a good mom" or "be kinder to people" or "be a scholar of the scriptures".

Next, take a look at the coming weeks and plan in time specifically in your day devoted to your soul. I know you think you're swamped. You probably are. Lets face it, life is BUSY. But we take the time to eat right? We take the time to check facebook. We find ourselves in cozy socks snuggled up on the couch watching reruns of I Love Lucy (wait, that might just have been me). But friends, our souls are starving. They need us to feed them. Plan ahead. That's what's going to make this awesome.

I'm stoked that you're along for the ride with me. Will you leave a comment to let me know you're fully on board? And with that comment, will you share at least one of your "become" goals? Y'all are great. Lets do this!

Someday I'll Be

living in a big old city and you're ever gonna be is mean.

My head isn't really working straight today so I'm just going to write a stream of consciousness post. You can pretend I'm James Joyce if you like.
Although I'd like to think that we don't have much in common.
And there I go being mean again.



The rain here in Nashville has been pouring down hard enough to start another flood.
Thank you T*Swift for playing on repeat in my head today. I've needed a constant reminder to be a little nicer. I've been realizing just how hard I am on myself sometimes, but I can be just as hard on other people.

My reminder to be less judgmental comes from the New Testament. Sister Jasper and I watched the video Finding Faith in Christ with some of our friends the other day and Jesus's admonition to the crowd of accusers when they bring a woman before Him who was found committing adultery always cuts to my heart. "He that hath no sin among you, let him throw the first stone." I'm far from being sinless. (Drops the rocks clenched in my fists).

My "thanksgiving resolution" (because why should they only come at the new year?) is to be a little nicer. To myself, to my friends, when no one else is listening, when I think no one else is listening. Being mean gets me nowhere but in the dumps. It's time to be a little more friendly.

Smoothing Out

The smile is back! I'm being tumbled around in a spiritual rock polisher and some of my theoretical rough edges were made a little bit smoother this week. Thank you to those who commented on my last post. It's reassuring to know that I have a "team" even when I might not be on it myself.

It really is in the depths of our despair that we can choose to continue to wallow in that misery that I imagine to be a pit filled with those ugly creeps from Labyrinth:

Or we can turn to the Savior and trust in the power of His Atonement.

Personally I want absolutely nothing to do with the greasy little Jim Henson monsters. I choose Jesus.  Elder Lund shared a talk with us called The Faces of Pride, given by the Prophet Ezra Taft Benson in 1989. He encouraged us to each to pray, read it and make some goals based on the promptings received while reading. I'd like to share a paragraph that impacted me.

"The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they  have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by where they are judge to be on the ladders of worldly success.  They feel worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly. It says, 'if you succeed, I am a failure.' If we love God, do His will, and fear His judgment more than men's, we will have self-esteem."

I choose to follow the Savior and trust in Him for help in my hard times. My success is not based on the achievements of other missionaries. Elle is doing ok. Excuse me. Sister McCall is doing ok (sometimes I need to remind myself that I'm still me). I'm going to share one more quote that comes from Preach My Gospel that I read this morning.

"Your confidence and faith should be in Christ, not in yourself. Rely on the Spirit rather than your own talents and abilities."

So here I am. Still swimming. And I hope you're doing the same :)

Hold Me Forever

So I'm going to describe last night right before I went to sleep as "fetal position prayer". And a forewarning that this post is pretty personal, I just feel like it is important to share. The day had gone pretty well and I felt like my work and my effort were more than I usually put forward, but something wasn't right. I made the decision a few weeks ago to choose to be happy when things are hard and it has been incredible to see that choice affect my attitude. When I'm choosing to be happy the hard things are a little bit easier to handle. But not always.

I fell to my knees because I just couldn't handle the stress anymore. Stress that I didn't even realize I had. I wrote a post a while ago about goal setting because I think it's really important to set big plans with smaller attainable ones to work on daily and to set those dreams in motion. We were encouraged last night as a companionship to work on a few more things and I just didn't know how to go forward anymore. Cliche time: it was the straw that broke this camel's back.

What I really wanted to do was rebel. I didn't want to follow any of the rules for another minute. It was time to find a good radio station, call my mom, and I wanted to never put on another skirt again.

I knew none of those things would get me anywhere and ultimately they would just make me feel even more guilty. As I started praying God answered me by the words of the song "Hold You In My Arms" by Ray LaMontagne. It was like I could hear it playing in my head. And I knew it was my comfort that my Father in Heaven knew I needed. It was His promise to me that He can hold me forever.

"When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears it was easy to see you'd been crying. Seems like everywhere you turn, castatrophe it reigns. But who really profits from the dying? I could hold you in my arms. I could hold you forever."

Now that the night is over and a new day is begun I will be honest that I don't feel 100% myself right now. What I do know is that things are going to be ok. I am the one in control of this ship. I'm the one to sets the standard of what has been a successful day. And I am the one who will work on being happy with what I accomplish.

“God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain” -C.S. Lewis

Stretch!

I put post-it notes everywhere! When Sister Warwood and I go to visit someone and they aren't home we always leave a sticky on the door with a little message. We also love inviting people to read passages of scripture and we'll write them on sticky notes. This website Things We Forget always gives me a little inspiration and its like an internet sticky!

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I like this one because we have been talking about enduring to the end a lot in our companionship study. I set big goals and have my sights set on big things because I know some day I can make it! My super big ulitmate whole reason for living goal is to return to live with God some day!

Everyone can have that goal and everyone has the potential to make it! Leave me a comment with your address and I'll send you a real sticky note reminder of your divine worth!

I love y'all!