Songs For The Season

So this year Christmas is going to be unique. I've never had one like it in the past and there never will be one like it in the future.

My life as I've known it up to this point has been a ball of crafty-creative-bits-of-thread-and-felt-mess. My fingers are ususally covered in some kind of ink or paint or tie-dye or pencil lead. When I think of talents that I want to share with other people it's my artistic side that I feel I can share best. Christmastime is when I'm feeling it most because there is nothing than I love more than to make gifts by hand for those I love.

A few days ago I was struggling because I've chosen not to focus on that for an entire year and a half.  There will be no long nights at the sewing machine to get all of the pieces thrown together and there will be no hidden handmade treasures stashed in a corner to hide from my family until Christmas morning. There are some small ways for me to express my right brained side, but not with the full devotion that I once had the time to do. What I am learning is how to develop other talents. My weak things are becoming strong.

I'm all about encouraging people to spend time on art, to learn a new craft, or to try out a new fascinating hobby. Right now though I'm all about developing my ability to open my mouth to testify of truth.  The gift that I want to give everyone this season is a chance to grow closer to the Savior.  My heart is in an imaginary box under a figurative tree for Christ this holiday season.

What's interesting is that as I've been writing this blog post the words I was planning didn't come out. Apparently my fingers know something that my brain hasn't quite figured out yet. I made this small playlist of Christmas songs that have been my favorites. I hope that as you listen to them and ponder the real meaning of Christmas you can decide to make this holiday more meaningful in your own family.

One of my absolute favorite Christmas songs is Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel by Brightwood and I couldn't find it to share on this playlist :( but that little link should take you to where you can hear it!

Someday I'll Be

living in a big old city and you're ever gonna be is mean.

My head isn't really working straight today so I'm just going to write a stream of consciousness post. You can pretend I'm James Joyce if you like.
Although I'd like to think that we don't have much in common.
And there I go being mean again.



The rain here in Nashville has been pouring down hard enough to start another flood.
Thank you T*Swift for playing on repeat in my head today. I've needed a constant reminder to be a little nicer. I've been realizing just how hard I am on myself sometimes, but I can be just as hard on other people.

My reminder to be less judgmental comes from the New Testament. Sister Jasper and I watched the video Finding Faith in Christ with some of our friends the other day and Jesus's admonition to the crowd of accusers when they bring a woman before Him who was found committing adultery always cuts to my heart. "He that hath no sin among you, let him throw the first stone." I'm far from being sinless. (Drops the rocks clenched in my fists).

My "thanksgiving resolution" (because why should they only come at the new year?) is to be a little nicer. To myself, to my friends, when no one else is listening, when I think no one else is listening. Being mean gets me nowhere but in the dumps. It's time to be a little more friendly.

Study Journals 2.0

So these posts about journaling are based of of a mini-training I did a few weeks ago with a few missionaries.  I was worried that it might end up being me talking about something I love with no one else really caring. Can I just tell you how excited I was when Elder Lund tapped me on the shoulder the other day and held up his journal showing me the last page with notes scribbled all the way down the the very last inch?? Hooray for note taking!

When I grab a pen I never put it down!

As I was preparing the training I thought of reasons why I take notes in meetings or when I am studying the scriptures. It used to be that I'd take notes or doodle during devotional meetings in college to keep myself awake (at least I'm honest about it right?) but then I realized how much more I gain out of a meeting if I take time to review what I'd written.

There is a phrase used repeatedly in the scriptures that says, "Ask and ye shall receive. Knock and it shall be opened unto you. Seek and ye shall find." It is one of my favorite promises that the Lord gives us because He's always going to hold up His end of the deal. If I'm searching for answers He is going to give me answers. Therefore I coined a new phrase, "Seek and ye shall find, not sit and it will fall in your lap." My study has more meaning when I write down the answers I find so I can go back to them again.

I have a few different approaches to writing. The picture above shows a whole ton of journals that I'm using right now! They each have a unique purpose with specific things I write in them. One is my blogspiration book, personal journal, scrapbook, family history, "bye bye book" for when I leave an area, and 3 study journals. Sometimes its a little frustrating to have things written in so many places for instance right now there is a poem in one that I would love to share but I don't have it with me. But the great thing about having so many is that they are organized and I know where to go back and find what I've written.
Some days I just write bullet point lists of things I've done. When I'm frustrated or trying to make a big decision I make pro and con lists. If someone says something silly I write it down because I know in 10 minutes we're going to forget about it and it will be funny all over again. There is absolutely no right or wrong way to record your personal history. The most important thing is to just do it! You'll be grateful you did :)

Hold Me Forever

So I'm going to describe last night right before I went to sleep as "fetal position prayer". And a forewarning that this post is pretty personal, I just feel like it is important to share. The day had gone pretty well and I felt like my work and my effort were more than I usually put forward, but something wasn't right. I made the decision a few weeks ago to choose to be happy when things are hard and it has been incredible to see that choice affect my attitude. When I'm choosing to be happy the hard things are a little bit easier to handle. But not always.

I fell to my knees because I just couldn't handle the stress anymore. Stress that I didn't even realize I had. I wrote a post a while ago about goal setting because I think it's really important to set big plans with smaller attainable ones to work on daily and to set those dreams in motion. We were encouraged last night as a companionship to work on a few more things and I just didn't know how to go forward anymore. Cliche time: it was the straw that broke this camel's back.

What I really wanted to do was rebel. I didn't want to follow any of the rules for another minute. It was time to find a good radio station, call my mom, and I wanted to never put on another skirt again.

I knew none of those things would get me anywhere and ultimately they would just make me feel even more guilty. As I started praying God answered me by the words of the song "Hold You In My Arms" by Ray LaMontagne. It was like I could hear it playing in my head. And I knew it was my comfort that my Father in Heaven knew I needed. It was His promise to me that He can hold me forever.

"When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears it was easy to see you'd been crying. Seems like everywhere you turn, castatrophe it reigns. But who really profits from the dying? I could hold you in my arms. I could hold you forever."

Now that the night is over and a new day is begun I will be honest that I don't feel 100% myself right now. What I do know is that things are going to be ok. I am the one in control of this ship. I'm the one to sets the standard of what has been a successful day. And I am the one who will work on being happy with what I accomplish.

“God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain” -C.S. Lewis

*My Peace I Give Unto You*

This painting is so unique. I just adore it! In fact it was on the cover of my daily planner for 6 weeks. The title comes from the scripture John 14:27 . I find so much peace in studying the scriptures. In fact, when our alarm goes off at 9 AM to finish up our hour of personal study time and begin companionship study I just want to keep going!

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Just enjoy the simplicity of this work and take some extra time today to find lasting peace in the scriptures.

Forget Not

Please allow me the chance right now to be the most corny and stereotypical Mormon blogger as possible.

The highlight of the General Relief Society broadcast this week was President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk about the things we should never forget. Click right HERE to watch it!

Yes. I think that it was extremely cheesey of me to make this little picture (and yes, I did do it with picnik! How did you guess??) but it really is a great reminder for me.

My heart was touched by the words that this Apostle of the Lord shared. Sisters we are often too hard on ourselves!

So the part of the talk where he mentions Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was probably my favorite. I grew up loving Roald Dahl's stories and I will now make it a goal to not focus so much on finding the perfect moments in life [golden tickets!]

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And instead enjoy the life [chocolate!] that those moments are found in!

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I know this little comparison is funny and I haven't had much time to really write out any deep or profound thoughts, but if it is good enough for President Uchtdorf then it is sure good enough for me!!

This weekend is General Conference, an opportunity to have 8 hours of wonderful spiritual upliftment just like this talk. Absolutely everyone is invited to attend or to watch via live streaming on the internet! You better believe it when I say that future blog posts are going to blossom from things I hear this weekend!